Saturday, December 13, 2008

Why I think Michigan breeds sluts.

My mother is from Michigan. But that has nothing to do with any of this. On jacksonville.com there is a piece about a girl from Michigan coming to town to "audition" to be in Playboy magazine. Ordinarily, this information would not elicit any response from me whatsoever. In this case, this girl is only 18 and her mother came with her. In the piece you see pictures of her mother helping her put on her skimpy "outfits", smiling and looking at her own daughter like a piece of meat/cashcow. I understand that 18 is the age at which a person is technically an adult. I moved out of my mom's house when I was 17, so I can't say much about what a person chooses to do with their late teen years. However, it is supremely disturbing to me that this girl's mother is so involved in this process. I know that if I had an 18 year old daughter, and she came to me and said, "Mom, I want to audition to be in Playboy" I would say, "That's nice dear, good luck and may God bless your soul when Daddy kills you." I distinctly remember my mother telling me, all throughout my life, that she wanted me to do whatever made me happy. One time I asked her, "Well, what if I want to be a stripper, would you be okay with that?" and she said, "I would rather you do something else, and there are so many dangers involved in that kind of business, but if it made you happy that's all I would care about." Now, I'm not sure that I agree with this kind of parenting. Even if it's true, should you tell your children that they can do whatever they want as long as it makes them happy? Isn't that how I got into the mess that is my life? I dropped out of school because it made me happy. I moved out when I was 17 because it made me happy. I got married at 19 because it made me happy. And up until the marriage part, my mother wanted nothing to do with any of my shenanigans. She wouldn't help me pack to move out, let alone help be get primped to pose in Playboy. But I digress.
This woman accompanying her daughter to our fair city is a sad commentary on the state of the "next generation." Is she so concerned with her daughter making some money that she would be willing to help her pose naked so that millions of men can splooge all over her picture? I mean, let's face it; Playboy is not art for art's sake. It's porn for porn's sake. Don't get me wrong, I am not against Playboy in any way. I used to buy it all the time at the Navy Exchange. Until I came home one day to find a bottle of lube and a pile of Playboys in the middle of the living room floor when I had only been gone for 30 minutes and had made love to my (now ex)husband right before I left. That had really nothing to do with Playboy, so much as my crazy spouse. But again, I digress. There should be no mistake about why men (or women) buy Playboy. Everyone knows what porn is for. So for a woman to so readily and, apparently, joyfully assist her daughter in her lifelong dream to become a 2-dimensional spunk receptacle boggles the mind. I'm sure that you have noticed that I am not ragging too much on the girl, and that is because she is only a product of her environment. If you plant corn, you'll get corn. Maybe it is wrong for me to pass judgement on someone based on some fluff piece on the internet. However, when you allow someone to follow your "Quest for Playboy" you are pretty much opening yourself up (in so many ways) to criticism. So, really, this is all her fault.
On the other hand, my friend D is contemplating posing for Playboy for a blog entry. And you know what, I say do it to it!!!! She is a grown-ass woman who knows exactly what she would be doing. I know for a fact that there are Playboys in her bathroom. She's not some barely legal girl who has to travel with her mommy. And as for these women who say that there parents think their Playboy spreads are "beautiful," "tasteful," "classy," or "artful;" I call bullshit. Old school Playboy centerfolds were classy and artful. Now it's just a mess of skin and the occasional prop that doesn't make any sense. "Oh, how did I end up on this bail of hay wearing nothing but my boots and a tiny half jean jacket? I suppose the only thing to do now is spread my legs as wide as they will go and lick my lips." Once again, I do not fault Playboy or even the women who pose in it. It's a business and a career. But, if you really thought about it, would you help your daughter if she wanted to audition? I don't think I could, but I guess you never know.




** As a side note, I have cousins that are twin girls and they live in Michigan. I would never say that they are sluts, but I don't know them well enough to call them an exception to the rule, either. I honestly believe that there is a true correlation between basements, long winters and Michigan girls turning into sluts. Maybe I'll go into that one at a later date.